Rockford, IL, 5:20pm

This is the first day of 2026. I am sitting at my mom’s condo on Sunnyside Drive, The Cloisters. A little less than 3 months ago, on October 12, my mom had a hemorrhagic stroke, also known as a brain bleed. It was caused by high blood pressure. It was late afternoon on that Saturday, my sister contacted me and said she did not see my mom or her dog moving around on the cameras. She and Gregg ended up going over to the condo, to check on her. Gregg had to break in by forcing open the door which was chained. He broke the frame. They found her lying on the bed. She had wet herself. She was able to speak, but, it seemed as though she might have been drunk or hung over, so they just left. Several hours later, nothing had changed and they ended up going back over there. They ended up calling 911 and she was taken to Saint Anthony Hospital, OSF.

Fortunately, they were able to stop the bleeding without doing surgery. I flew up to Rockford as soon as I could, on October 20th. I ended up cancelling my next to last Church History class at First Baptist. I stayed at her condo until November 1. I would take a Lyft back and forth to the hospital, and also ended up getting my left back tooth pulled because it had rotted out so bad and even though I was planning on getting a root canal, the pain was just so bad. And, since it was a tooth way in the back, it was just not worth saving. The dentist here pulled it out and prepared the whole (somehow) so that if I ever wanted, I could get an implant. My mom remained in OSF Hospital (room 419).

Anyway, the hospital was quick to want to get her moved to a rehab facility. So, my sister and I had to find a suitable one, just not Saint Anne’s where she went after her car wreck back in 2018. She contracted bed bugs there. We ended up choosing a place called Alden Debes, which was actually the same building as Alma Manor, on Mulford, right by the old Kmart and where we used to live. She was transferred there on Monday, October 27. I went with her in the transport van. There she was in room 308. I went there on a daily basis bringing her dog, Ace with me along with my computer so I could sit there and work. At the facility there, they would attempt to do some rehabilitation, like physical therapy. But, like at the hospital, the biggest issue in her recovery/rehabilitation was her unwillingness and lack of motivation to do what that therapists wanted her to do. This angered me quite a bit. I knew a big cause of this was that these workers would come in early in the morning when she was still tired.

It was so hard seeing her in this condition. For quite a while, she was not even able to feed herself. She couldn’t really talk. I don’t know if she even ever knew what had happened. She was just totally out of it.

My aunt, Moch came up on Thursday, October 30 along with my cousin, Connie. On Friday, they took me out to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, where I remembered we had gone with my dad on his birthday. I left the next day, Saturday, November 1 back down to Dallas to teach my last class at First Baptist. Moch was staying at her condo, and I spent the next couple weeks in Dallas (putting up my Christmas tree, managing the Airbnb, etc.) intending to come back to Rockford to stay again for an extended time. Sue had tried to extend her stay at Alden Debes, but, Medicare denied the request and Sue’s appeal. She would have to go back home.

Moch was able to stay until Sunday, November 16th. My mom had to go back home on Monday. I wouldn’t be able to come back to Rockford until Wednesday, November 19th. This time, I was able to bring Coco with me. Thank God! Roman was planning on going to India to see our friend, Ishaan’s cousin’s wedding. I told him I would be gone for a couple weeks, but, I really didn’t know HOW long it would be. I was SO SO SO happy he was with me. He was my only source of joy in this dismal, cold place. Luckily, it snowed here quite a bit, and it was so refreshing to see him romp around in it and roll in it. It had also become so deep, that he would have to hop in it to move around. He loved it, like a little kid. He would run around and run around so happy. It made me happy seeing him happy.

We were able to spend Thanksgiving at Sue and Gregg’s. I had made my Arroz con Leche which I brought over. Gregg, as usual, made a wonderful feast! There was an empty plate left next to me in honor of Gregg’s mom, Cathy, who passed away suddenly earlier a few months ago.

The first few weeks being here were horrible. On top of recovering from the stroke, my mom had also acquired a urinary tract infection, (UTI). In older people, this can, and in my mom’s case DOES cause delirium and confusion, and what seems to me like dementia symptoms. She had no idea what was going on, would ask strange questions (like, where my dad was, and thinking that she would be moving out of her condo to go back “home” — which she seemed to think was our old house on Albany Lane.)

She was also re-arranging things in the house, and would get mad at me if I disturbed things. Every morning, when she would get up, I sometimes had to change her bed because she had wet it. I would sometimes also find dirty diapers in it, and other places. She would sit down in her chair in the living room, I would have to take her blood pressure, and if it wasn’t too low, I would give her her morning pills. This, of course, included the anti-biotics which we had to get to knock out the eColi, UTI. I would make her some breakfast, too. That was usually a yogurt cup, and oatmeal, along with an Ensure protein drink. I also would make eggs sometimes, too.

I think through Aetna, her insurance, paid for this organization, Home Health (something), therapists would come over to assist. There was a doctor, who only came once and who she didn’t like, a nurse, Christine, a CNA, Becky, who gave her a bath, a physical therapist, and an occupational therapist, Brenda. Brenda was the best. They each came at least once a week. Brenda helped the most with the advice she gave, like getting a raised toilet seat (commode) and grab bars in the bathroom, and a rail for the bed.

When Roman returned from India (which he didn’t really like), he wanted me to bring/send Coco back. Which, I knew I needed to because we came up with a plan to bring my mom down to Moch’s in Florida. In the meantime, we would consider assisted living places, since we don’t think she can ever live by herself anymore. Sue made a comment once about having to babysit cameras all the time.

As much as I would hate to see her have to give up this condo, I think she is right. And since Sue is the one who lives the closest, she is more often the one having to deal with the burden of having to take care of her.

In any event, that is the current plan. We toured an assisted living facility close to the tollway which seemed really nice, but there’s a 6 month wait list. So, next week, I am going to take her and her little dog, Ace down to Florida and leave her there while I go back to Dallas. We’ll see what happens after that.