9:33pm — So, I realize I forgot to mention yesterday, that there is another more important aspect to consider, not only do you need to consider the fact that you are just a person in your manager’s game of chess, HE’S a pawn in YOUR game. In the case of this guy, Nick, I took myself out — he originally thought I was just a pawn but I gradually . . .

8:40pm — Phuket, Thailand — This place is lovely and amazing. Except for the room, no room is enclosed. To me, it seems more Japanese rather than Thai. But then, my discriminating abilities in all that is Oriental is waning. We seem to be set or embedded into a hill — the hotel cascades downward in varying levels until finally reaching the beach. Very elegant design. It is wonderfully unique.

Last night Sara and I went to one of Phuket’s more exclusive restaurants. Our travel tourist advisor (Rose) made the arrangements to have us picked up by the restaurant itself. I guess Leonardo DiCaprio who filmed “The Beach” on one of the Phi Phi islands, ate at this restaurant.

Today, Rose, our sweet Thai travel guide had us get on a canoe trip that was like NO OTHER. We left at 11:30 this morning, drove an hour up to the total opposite end of the island to load up on a boat that slowly sailed into bay called Phang Nga Bay. It’s a national park that is nothing but rock islets and tropical vegetation that bedeckles the sea. We were taken down into these inflatable canoes and went through caves underneath rocks which were literally only half an inch from our faces. And the scenery — was NOTHING like I had ever seen before. We also met some pretty cool people. Australians and even South Africans — hardly ANY (in fact NONE so far) Americans. And yet, English is the common language spoken (at least attempted) universally.

Since Sara and I have started [making love], she has been SO submissive — treating me with incredible respect and yielding to me. I have been totally setting the agenda with what we’re going to do and not do. It has evoked rather strong sensations of masculinity I’m just enjoying that so much. She told me that she just feels so loved, which has made respecting me so easy. — Last night, in the middle of the night, I woke her up and took her outside where we made love on our rock and on the balcony next to it. So far, among the dozen or times we’ve made love, I ******** What disturbs me, is that my mind does not focus on her at all. It is not HER that is the object of my passion. My mind wonders onto other things. [I dare not tell her this. I feel very guilty about it. The only thing, I guess that counts is that she is happy.]

10:10pm — Certain events and aspects about our wedding day contribute to its classsiness and sophistication. I continue to replay them in my head — a big one being my toast, spoken IN GERMAN to all of my German relatives who flew over. The video — complete with my proposal, is another. Sara did a GREAT job with the colors, too. Looking at some of the pictures we took of the gowns and the flowers next to them were absolutely stunning.

I must confess, I have reverted l lately too, focusing on Sara’s shortcomings. She’s too this or too that, and not enough this or that. How horrendous. But, what do I say? Perhaps nothing. There are ways to put positive spins on things.

I frequently look down at my left hand only to see a VERY strange object adorning it — my wedding ring. Jon, who saw me at toward the end of the reception, looked at the ring and reacted with vigorous astonishment — and also told me, unsolicited, that he loved me. Dirk came up to me, somewhat later and told me how much he thought I was cool.

Sara HAS been wonderful, though. The other day on the Phi Phi island trip, she got motion sickness and I got irritated with her. Even though she threw up, I found it difficult to believe that it wasn’t psycho-somatic. Later on, when she asked me, “What would you like me to do?” I said, “Tough it out. My foot is all cut up, but I’m not letting that spoil my fun.” I think I witnessed today her attempt to demonstrate this. We did things today in that canoe I would NEVER have imagined her doing. I told her yesterday that if I were just here by myself, I would be doing things differently. I said I would be pampering myself, surely, but I’d also be delving more into the authentic culture. Anyway, today, she was willing to get up close to things, bats, snakes, lizards, and spiders) IN ADDITION to passing underneath dangerously close stalagmites.

I think this marriage will go very well.